darkness

my chest hurts
in the center
and i can't help but think
that i've broken my own heart
when i chose to s t o p
and find solace in stillness
and company

(was the darkness that felt so deep and so wide
the darkness around me
or the darkness within me?
and if whithin, how could i not choose to go forth
shed light, and grow?
for that feels like the True Failure here
one of two hugely bottomless disappointments)

it's unfortunate the company of stars
was not enough
for the Infinite space that surrounded me
was full of billions
glimmering